Monday, April 9, 2012

I Am Back!

January, February, and March 2012. Depressing, heart-breaking, annoying. I think  you friends and loved ones know the depressing and heartbreaking parts. The annoying part was the demise of our computer's mother board exactly ten days after the extended warranty/service plan we purchased ran out. We are back up and running thanks to a wonderful blessing and now you get to put up with me again!

I have tried so hard to go back to "normal". If you are not a dog lover you don't get it. My house is empty and quiet during the day. I still find myself calling to him on impulse. I reach to pet him when I am sitting on the sofa. He is not there anymore. Well, sort of. I believe that animals have spirits, a soul from God who gives us all life. Just as I have felt my father and my sister near me on different occasions since their passing, I have also felt this little dog nearby. I believe the spirits of those who have gone on are allowed to visit and comfort us and to offer protection. Brittany has felt Sam too, very powerfully. I want you to know that I KNOW that this is true. I know we have a loving God, our Father in Heaven who created us all. He loves us and wants us to be good people and return to him with honor. I can testify to you from feelings I have had during prayer and from words spoken to me during Priesthood blessings that He is very aware of us and knows our needs. He can comfort us perfectly if we only believe and let Him. On the second night after Sam left us I went upstairs to bed with a very heavy heart. It felt so empty and lonely to not have him there trotting up those steps with me. Suddenly, about halfway up the stairs, I felt him there beside my right leg. I literally felt this warmth rush by me and race ahead of me as Sam tended to do. I was so comforted! I knew it was a tender mercy to let me know that he is not gone, not far away at all. I like to picture him bounding through the tall grasses and flowers of heaven chasing after the balls my Dad is tossing to him.

This piece of art is a print that Rachel made a few weeks ago. I love it. It is taken from a photo that I took of Sam just a few weeks before he became very ill. He was sitting at the door waiting for Brittany to come home. See his waggling tail? I know he is waiting for us, anxiously, to play with him again.

I hope you all had a glorious Easter! I take great comfort in the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He is indeed risen and so will we all be, great and small!


Unknown said...

That is my favorite picture because you told him I was coming home, and we went and sat by the door for me. THANK YOU for thinking about taking it.

URFAVE5 said...

Aunt Marianne, this post touched me so greatly. I can't tell you how many times I have felt as though my grandpa was near me. My grandma has told me on more than one occasion of how she sits and hold my grandpa's picture and talks to him. She says that as she hold his picture tight to her she swears she can feel his arms wrapped around her holding her giving her peace and comfort. I strongly believe that people and animals are close around us at different times.
I am sorry for your loss. I know it is very hard. I still from time to time will think of our sweet Mollie and get teary eyed.
Please know you all are in our prayers.
Oh and I love the picture!

Love you all,

R.M.L. said...

It's actually not taken from any picture...just my brain...
But that's okay because it's still Sam.