I was just stepping into the shower when my cell phone rang.
Son: Mom, my contact lenses are making my eyes itchy.
Me: Itchy? Like Dry?
Son: Yeah. It's bugging me. Could you bring my case and solution stuff to me?
Me: (To myself, Arrrgh! You didn't put it in your backpack did you?) Where are you?
Son: In seminary, for about 40 more minutes.
Me: (I have plenty of time to shower first) OK, I'll hurry. Meet me at the office in the Seminary building, OK?
Son: OK. Bye. I love you! (My son ALWAYS tells me he loves me!)
Stepping back into the shower I realize my visiting teachers are coming over. Was it 10:30? Oh no, I think, This is not going to work. A quick phone call to Darlene my V.T. relieves me. It's 11:30. Good!
Twenty minutes later I am showered, dressed, and have minimal make-up on. I will do my hair after I get back from the school. I grab Richard's contact lens "stuff" and run down the stairs telling Rachel where I am headed. I am carrying an armful of dirty clothes and take them to the laundry room. I grab my purse from the coat hook and head out the door to the garage...wait! The spring on the garage door broke last Sunday. My car is trapped inside with no strong man at home to lift the beast of a door for me. I know! I'll borrow Brittany's car! She's in Toronto so luckily it's parked right out front. I turn and run up the four family room steps to the front door. Shoot! I left my shoes in the garage. I turn and run back through the living room, down the family room steps, into the garage and slip my shoes on. Repeating the journey through the house again I get to the front door and realize I don't have Britt's keys. I repeat the a fore mentioned path and grab the keys. Finally! I am out the front door. I turn to lock the dead bolt and remember the contact lens "stuff". It was in the bathroom this morning right?
I run up the stairs and hear the shower running. Rachel is now in the shower. No! I knock on the door and hear her yell.
Me: I need Richard's lens solution and case. They are on the counter.
Rachel: No. They are downstairs! You had them in your hand when you came down awhile ago.
Me: Are you sure?
Rachel: Mom! Yes!
Me: (Did they take out my memory along with my uterus?)
Running down the stairs I spot the "stuff" on the desk. Back down four more steps. Back up to the front door. I am out again, at last! I turn to lock the dead bolt again and realize I have Britt's spare key in my hand. I fish for my keys in my purse, needing the house key. While doing so I drop Britt's keys and watch helplessly as it tumbles down a few cement steps and falls over the edge under a huge bush. Did I mention it was raining? I cannot fit behind the bush. Great. I run back inside, down the four steps to the family room and on into the laundry. I take my trusty bent-straight coat hanger of its hook behind the washer. Do you have one of those coat hangers to fish lost socks out from behind the washer?
I am on my way back up the steps when I remember the 2 knobs I bought yesterday at Hobby Lobby. They didn't fit the drawer I wanted them for so I needed to exchange them. I had plenty of time, right? I am looking all over the desk for the receipt when...
...my cell phone rings.
Dee: Hi Honey! Could you log onto my Facebook page for me and see if someone posted something inappropriate there?
Dee: Yeah. A couple of my students just came in my room with horrified looks on their faces and said, "Mr. Loose! You've got to get on Facebook right now! Someone put pictures on your wall that are scary and really horrible!" So, can you look for me? I can't log on here at school.
Me: (Really? I don't have time for this!) Sure Honey. Hang on! What's you password? Ok...hmm...wait! I know what is on your page! I saw it this morning on my page. It's my mother!
Dee: Your what? Your Mother??
Me: Yes. Gena posted some freaky photos of Mom. They were bored last night and painted her face.
Dee: You're kidding! Are you sure?
Me: Yes, I promise. Your page has not been hacked.
Dee: OK, if you're sure.
Me: I am. I gotta go! Bye!
I found the receipt and the knobs while reassuring my husband there was no pornography on his page.
I zoom out the door and pop my umbrella up only to find it won't open! It is tangled in the hanger. I wrestle the hanger loose, bend down in the rain and hook Brittany's spare key on the hanger. I get the front door locked and dash to the car. I drive to the high school just over the speed limit and find that I am late. It is 11:43 and kids are leaving the Seminary building for their next classes. Well, he should be right inside the door watching for me right? No.
I check my cell phone and redial the Seminary number Richard called me from.
Secretary: American Fork Seminary, may I help you?
Me: (Yes!! Yes you may!) Hello. I am looking for my son. He called me from your phone awhile back. He was having some trouble with his contacts. Do you see him in the lobby?
Sec.: Um...it's class change time so there are a lot of kids out there, but really, I don't know your son so how would I know which one was him?
Me: (Let's see, You could stick your head out of your window and call his name?) OK. I'll have to come in and find him then.
I find a parking spot about 25 yards away and run up to the building in the rain. No sign of Richard or anyone else for that matter!
Are you starting to pant and sweat with me? I was really getting annoyed right about then!
I run in the rain back to the car and drive over to the main building in front of the high school. Did I mention it was raining? Well, now it was pouring! I refuse to get in and out of this car again! He's coming out to me!
Thank goodness for cell phones. I called the school office and had them send him out to me. Brilliant! It only took 15 more minutes! I helped Richard put solution in his eyes and we sat there for a bit to make sure his eyes were alright.I handed him the box with the lens case and the sample sized bottle of solution and said, "put this in your backpack." (What a great idea! Where have I heard that before?)
After a "Thanks Mom, I love you!" (gets me every time with that one!) he left the car. I pull out onto the street and look at the clock in the car. It was 11:12. Good! I had time to get over to Hobby Lobby and exchange the knobs and make it home before the visiting teachers arrived.
I drive across town to Hobby Lobby and find a parking space right up front. Things are looking up! As I exit the car in the rain (forget the umbrella, don't have time!) my phone rings, again!
Rachel: Mom! Where ARE YOU? Do you know your visiting teacher will be here in ten minutes?
Me: Yes. I am at Hobby Lobby to exchange those knobs. It's only four minutes from home so I should be fine.
Rachel: Sounding not so convinced...OK Mom see ya!
I enter the store and decide to save time by going straight to the knob aisle and do the exchange and purchase of new knobs all in one transaction. I grab two of the cute knobs I saw yesterday. Their screws are long enough, they'll be great! Feeling smug at my speed I trot up front to find all three registers full and two people waiting in each line. I choose what looks like the shortest one, which usually ends up being a bad mistake. This time, however, I get right up to the register in good time. I pull the knobs and the receipt out of my purse, explain what I would like to do. The girl looks at the knobs and the receipt. She asks me if I would mind running back to get another one of the ones I want to exchange so she can get the number off of its tag. (I had pulled the tags off when trying to install them.) Mind? Me Mind? Heck no! I've got nothing but time!!!
As I retrieve a knob and run back to the front I notice that she has taken another customer, the one that was behind me in line. OK, I understand that. In the meantime I am watching another gal out of the corner of my eye. When I ran back to get another knob, she switched over to my line. When I got back, she switched to another line. The lady at the head of that line had been there since I had entered the store. She had some awful, long return thing going on. As my transaction ended she had switched back over to my line. She looked impatient. I thought, "you think YOU are having a rough morning?"
I zoomed home and arrived at 11:34, no sign of visiting teachers yet. Whew!! They arrive a few minutes later and we have an absolutely delightful visit. As always, they leave me feeling grateful and warmed by the spirit.
Now, let me tell you, I have been feeling mighty fine the last few days. I have been painting and cleaning carpets and sewing and getting so much done! I feel great! The morning I had today would have put me under about two weeks ago. I am SO GLAD to be feeling better! In fact, I feel better that I have in about a year or so. Could Super Mom be coming back? Stay tuned! Oh! Do you want to see the creepy thing that was on Facebook? Scroll down...
This is what happens when you live with Gena and she gets bored.
I think I am traumatized forever!