Saturday, December 6, 2008

Light Wars: Episode I

In the land of American Fork there dwells a lady who happens to live next door to a bunch of Loose people. Her name is Cheryl. If you have ever visited the Loose ones you know that Cheryl's yard is amazing. Her children are grown and she lives by herself so her yard is perfectly level. There are no dips of divots in the sod. It is like a golfing green! Her grass edges are bladed to perfection, sweet 90 degree angles. In February her grass is green while the rest of us have khaki tan tundra growing! She begins mowing as soon as it has grown a quarter inch and of course her mowers and edgers are the first one tuned up and sharpened in the entire county! The flowers and whimsical figures she has everywhere are a testament to her love of beauty and fun. I have often lamented having to live next door the the Zen Master of Gardening. Our yard is decent but next to hers it looks a bit shabby!
A beautious yard is not her only talent. Cheryl loves to decorate for each and every holiday or season. When me and my Loose bunch first pulled into our new driveway and I looked to the left I thought we had a fun day care center next door! There on her rail fence were Sesame Street characters on each post. There was a colorful seasonal flag waving and summertime things like butterflies and bees in among the flowers. There was even an alligator lurking under her hostas!
Exhibit A: Whimsy
(See the other side of the fence where there are actually leaves on the grass? That's our yard!)

I soon discovered that this is just Cheryl being Cheryl. She paints mail boxes for herself and the neighbors. They are perfect replicas of Disney characters. She does it freehand. She told me once that as a young woman she was offered a job at Disney Studios but turned it down being very self-conscious and not thinking she was good enough. She regrets it deeply. There's a lesson to be learned there!

Exhibit B: Talent

I digress...needless to say, Cheryl's Christmas yard looks amazing. It gets bigger and better every year. She doesn't go crazy and cover everything with lights; but she fills her yard with fun and whimsy! Every other day or so something new goes in.

We could not keep up even if we tried. My husband, head Loose guy, thinks he can try.

Exhibit C: Lots of Fun Stuff!

Dee's answer to living next door to Cheryl is lights. Lights , lights, lights! His frenzy this year is fed by our newest family member Nicholas (who, by the way, is not a Loose guy but a Mowes...plural of which is Moses Or Moseses as in..."That car is the Moses" or "Here come the Moses-es"!). Nick the Toolman Taylor and my husband are not good for my electric bill! A few weeks ago we put up our usual string of lights across the front of the garage and over the front door. That's all I have ever asked for. The next thing I know Loose guy and Jr. Loose are up on the roof stringing lights around the corner, up the side eaves and down. We live on a corner so I suppose that is reasonable. However, not being able to reach the peak with our ladder, Mr. Loose lays on the peak of the roof and leans waaaay over the edge to attach the highest lights. In the process he hears a loud popping sound and feels intense pain. Yes...he re-broke the same ribs that had only recently healed. Hmm...
Enter Super Son-in-law. "Dee! You should not do things like that! You've got ME!!" Wanting to help Loose man finish what he started, Moses gets up on the roof and before I know it they have strung lights around to the back side of the house! Now there is talk of going clear across the back and of course it is a good idea because we are on a corner and people will be able to see them and will be MORE LIGHTS THAN CHERYL HAS!! Nick has it in his plans to buy more lighted candy canes too because two of ours don't match the rest...?!!! I know it is because Cheryl has about 50 lighted candy canes lining her yard. They can't fool me!! I submit the following photos of my men doing their thing during the BYU/Utah game a few weeks ago (we do not get Comcast so we can only get the games on the radio), our nearly finished product, and of course...The Wonderland next door!

Happy decorating, and don't break any bones, OK?

Exhibit D: Lights going up on the second story level.

(a new thing at our little abode)

Nick's BYU flag on his Ute red car!

Epilogue: Thanksgiving morning saw Moses, Loose Man, & Little Loose Guy on the roof again. "MORE LIGHTS! MORE LIGHTS!" was their cry! Every eave, every gable, every gutter, every ,every, every! Even the fence! Moses was heard to mutter..."heh, heh, heh...Cheryl's goin' down!"

Exhibit E: My power bill going out of sight!!!

Nick casually mentioned to Cheryl that Dee was trying to out-do her to which she replied with a smile..."he'll never be able to do it." I suppose this means we are in for "Light Wars Episode 2" next year...sigh.


Norman and Sveta ( Норман и Света ) said...

Hey Mary, I absolutely enjoyed reading about your "struggle" to have your own corner of the neighborhood illuminated. The home looks good though, even if a few ribs had to be sacrificed! Besides, he has more, right? Seriously though, you should enter this story, in it's entirety, to Readers Digest. I really think it is a good story to share with others.

Anonymous said...

There should be a song to accompany this story, how about "up on the, click, click"... to go with the sound of ribs cracking. Silly me, I thought that noise had to do with reindeer, now we know the truth! Cheryl is goin' down, I can feel it, if not this year, then next, for sure! Merry Christmas!

Edwin & Tamara said...

Ha Ha I think that happens in our neiborhood too I have not got are christmas decorations up outside yet And No one else in the neiborhood has either, I think they are waiting to see what I do first LOL
Oh well I love to see christmas lights, And yours looks so much better then the neibors, they lost me with the homedepot blow up,

Helen Ellsworth said...

What a lift I got from reading your little story. Having seen Cheryl's yard decorations I can agree with you. She does go above and beyond the call of duty. I think the Loose guy is going to out do her tho', if not with figures, then with lights. The house looks beautiful. I will go to sleep tonight with your christmas lghts before my eyes. I love everything about Christmas. Especfially the lights and the music. Love you Mom

URFAVE5 said...

This is like the Griswalds Christmas Vacation. I loved reading your post, it was very entertaining. I gotta say my ribs hurt-though!
Man I'm glad we don't live next door to Cheryl or you guys for that matter- we would really look like scrouges next to you guys! Brian put up lights a few years and then he said it wasn't safe for him to do anymore. I said what??? He said, "Well if I fall or something off that ladder I won't be working for awhile. I can't trim houses with broken bones, especially a broken arm." SO, I let him off the hook-not happily though. But it was a good excuse for him-I suppose.
Don't worry you guys won the light war! Your yard looks just beautiful! Enjoy the Holiday Season!
Lots of Love, JoLynn

Annie said...

We just put up lights yesterday and my cute husband had to rig a pole out of a marshmellow roasting stick and an old piece of base board in order to get them onto the roof. Looks like maybe we'll have to buy a ladder after all! I love it!