"This part of my story I recorded years ago and remember well, but now I will have to continue on and my memory is not as keen as it was thirty or forty years ago, so be patient with me. (of course!)
Nothing of interest happened in Eagar that winter. I had a picture made of my five little girls, which I have always cherished. (The one from the previous post.)
On moving back to Nutrioso we bought the house which Mother's brother, John W. Clark built when he came to Nutrioso, the same spring that Mother and Dad came. They (Uncle John) sold the house and went back to Utah. It was like coming home, for my parents owned this home when I was a child. It was just across the street from the school house. It was a pretty little frame, four room building. Mother and Dad lived there when I was younger and it was where some of Mother's children were born. We liked this location close to school and church and Relief Society. I was expecting another baby. As we had six girls it never occurred to us that we would be blessed with a son. Yet, every night when Klea said her prayers, she asked God to send her a little brother, and He did. How happy we all were when it turned out to be a boy! On July 1, 1916, out first son was born and how happy and proud we were. I was especially happy for Carl. I think he was more thrilled than I was. I have never seen a sweeter baby, beautiful and dark haired. We all idolized him, especially his father. He was blessed and named for his father, Don Carlos, Jr. We were too happy for it to last. God saw fit to take him.I could never stand to let him sleep except on my arm. It seemed that if I did,he would be gone and I wanted to love him every minute. In September Carl and some of my brothers decided to go to Clifton to find work for the winter. After they were gone, the baby became very ill. Carl, heeding the spirit of the Lord as usual, was prompted to return home. How happy I was when he drove into the yard.While he (the baby) was so sick I just could not reconcile myself to the fact of his being taken, so I pleaded with the Lord to spare my little son. One evening my father came in the room where I was grieving and said, "Daughter, why don't you release him to the Lord? You are only prolonging his suffering." And then I knew how selfish I was and although it broke my heart to say the words, "Thy will be done", I did, and Father administered to him and told the Lord he was in His hands and in just a little while that sweet spirit had gone to his Maker. That taught me to not question God's will. I know that little spirit just came here to take a body and return to his Father in Heaven. My arms felt very empty and it seemed as I went about my work that I could hear him crying for me. To this day I can hardly bear to think of him without crying. Afterwards, Carl's mother, Sarah Priscilla Leavitt Hamblin said she had felt that we would never raise him. We buried him the next day beside his little sister. It was very lonely around our home and as often as we could, we went with Carl for wood and other work he was doing.
I could not have typed that story last Tuesday. It was a bad day and I was questioning the Lord's will in many of my loved ones lives. I came to realize (as I knew all along) that the Lord allows us to go through trials which He could easily stop, but then there would be no personal growth. We are also often subject to the wrong choices of others around us. This life is all about faith and learning to be gracious in our lives as trial and good times come. Be mad or sad for awhile...an hour or a day, but then get on your knees and pray for strength and understanding. Then get up...rise up...and take on life. I have never lost one of my babies. My grandmother lost two, as did my own mother. I may have other trials, but I am grateful I have never had to endure that one.
Next time we will hear about adventures in the wilderness, another move, another baby, and seeing their first motorized vehicle!