Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Growing Pains (of the Heart!)

"Don't take the Christmas tree down until I leave." That's what Sarah asked me on Saturday. We were discussing whether or not to do it and to be honest, I have been reluctant. Any other year and that evergreen would have been out of here by Jan. 2nd but this year it feels different. This year I have wanted Christmas to last and last. We have had dear Sarah at home with us since December 10th. It has been such an enjoyable time! No school or work for her so she just completely relaxed. We have shopped together, played together, sewn aprons together, cried together, cooked together, watched movies and TV together. She has been there for four Sundays in a row as I have led the singing in Relief Society. It has been wonderful to look out at the sisters and see my Sarah's face smiling up at me. Last Sunday as we were singing I looked at her and thought, "she won't be there next Sunday".

Why is it that a mother's heart is so sensitive? Instead of shrinking as the chicks leave the nest it grows unbelievably! I have been able to have my older girls around more than most. They will be the first to tell you with disgusted sighs that it is because they are "Old Maids". That statement makes me very sad because I don't happen to think they are, but unmarried or not, they have been with me a long time and I adore them! Sarah has been in and out, here and BYU, here and London & Paris, here and a mission to New York, here and Florence, Rome, & Sienna, home again and then Canada for doctorate studies, but she always comes home. I love her for that! I am glad we have the love in our home that calls them back. I am not ashamed to boast of that a bit either.

So, as I take down our tree today I will be packing away a bit of my heart with Sarah's ornaments. And as she lands in Toronto tonight she can close her eyes and remember the family togetherness, the laughter and fun, and the glow of the tree at home.

If only we could have that Christmas glow in our hearts all year.


URFAVE5 said...

Oh my goodness Aunt Marianne, that post just made me sob and sob. I'm so glad that your kids always end back up at home. I'm so glad that they know that they are loved, welcomed, and wanted. What more could any mother ever want!
I always tell my kids when they are naughty to each other. I say, "Listen here, the world out there isn't always such a nice place. In fact sometimes people aren't always nice, sometimes there not always thinking of others, and in fact sometimes people out there are just plain old mean. That is why in our home it is a haven. It is the one place that you can always come that I promise that no one is going to be mean to you or unkind. It is the one place that no matter how bad it is you always have your home and us there with open loving arms ready to wipe the tears and help you back up when you've fallen down." And then I tell them that I can not have them be unkind to one another or else our home is not that kind of place where they know that they are safe and loved.
Usually that does the trick and they get along with each other. Well at least for a little while. I'm just so glad that your kids know that and that they feel that love! You are such a wonderful mother and example to me. Thanks for all that you do.! I love you!

Marianne said...

Good for you Jolynn! I have the same policy!

Anonymous said...

This was such a sweet post! I love it that our children have never really left either, temporarily from time to time, but they always return. It's just wonderful. I ditto everything JoLynn said, I even think I've said those very words to my children.